A Dream of Return: Two Friends – One Destination and a Splintered Self

Yesterday I dreamed that I was flying back to Israel to meet two friends I’m no longer in contact with. They don’t know each other, each was a friend in his own right, and my distancing from each of them happened separately. But in the dream, I was meant to arrive in Israel and meet them both in Eilat.

I flew from Canada to Ben Gurion Airport, and from there I flew and drove to Eilat—as if I had split into two, yet somehow remained one. Two separate experiences, with one shared purpose: Eilat.

I think I made it there, but I’m not entirely sure. What is certain is that Eilat wasn’t enough for them.
One wanted to continue further south.
The other wanted more, I’m not sure what “more” meant, but it was clear: what there was, wasn’t enough.

Both are divorced, one of them twice. Both have children. Both have fathers who were police officers, and they followed in their footsteps and joined the police. Both are very full of themselves, and both are popular with women, though they deeply disrespect women and see them as tools meant to fulfill their needs, or at least that’s how they present it to me.

Both tried to encourage me when I was hurt by women I loved who didn’t love me back.
Both tried to be my friends in their own way.
And both, in the end, only pushed me away.