Recognition: Of The Light
A quiet reawakening, a gentle return to what was always there
What Is This Stage?
Recognition is not a revelation. It is the return of something that never truly left. A soft smile. A shared glance. A verse you once loved whispered by the wind. You don’t shout it out. You feel it in the stillness between two noises. This stage comes after the chaos. After the denial, after the longing, after the pain. And yet, it doesn’t undo any of it. It simply makes room for something else. For presence. For light.
A Voice from the Journey
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Today, I returned to studying Torah after a long, conscious distance. My tefillin remained in the Holy Land, and I, at the other end of the world. A beautiful morning here at the edge: sunshine and birdsong. A dog barking in the distance. Children waking. A drill buzzing. People walking down the street. Everything is pleasant and good. There is no “but.” And still, but lies in wait at the door, and its desire is for me, and I shall rule over it. I feel a desperate need to return to the source and make sure everything is aligned. A compulsive pull to drink from the roots of life. But what is life if not the past? Life is what lies beyond the past. For me, the Carmel mountains are the mountains of darkness. The child playing in my office, rolling cars, making screeching sounds to stop me from writing, that is life. I know this. And still, I write. I chose this path. I don’t know if it’s worthy or helpful, or at the very least, if it doesn’t harm someone else. The child has now left the room. He fulfilled his role. Now it’s just you and me—and whatever it is you believe in.
When Recognition Arrives
You don’t always recognize light when it enters. Sometimes it comes disguised as noise. As longing. As the child interrupting your thoughts. But if you pause, just for a second, you’ll see: The divine never truly left. It just waited for you to look up.
Questions That Burn Before They’re Spoken
Is this the end of the journey?
No. Recognition is not the end, it’s a threshold. A soft place to land before you rise again.
Can I recognize the light even if I'm still struggling?
Yes. Especially then. Light enters through the cracks.
What if I doubt what I felt?
Let doubt stay. Recognition isn’t certainty. It’s permission to continue.
Why does it feel so fleeting?
Because it is. That’s what makes it holy.
Should I act on it?
You already did. You noticed. That’s enough for today.